I nearly died today.

Human-mom finally got off the couch, went in the scary water closet and dressed for adventure. Knew it was gonna be an adventure cuz the whole family got to go. Except for Sadie-Cat. She always has to stay at home. Human-mom tells her she’s in charge unless one of us stays at home too.

As usual, the drive to adventure took waaaay too long, but finally we got to one of my favorite places.  It’s super cool there cuz we always get to play ball. Ball is good. Like usual, we got to play ball first. Finally felt so good to stretch my legs and fly like the wind. Okay, sometimes I let Jasmine or Camm get the ball first, but that’s only cuz I learned they will knock me over if I don’t pretend to be kinda slow sometimes. Especially Jasmine. She makes this weird noise that means she’s getting it first. When I hear that, I just let her get it or I’ll get bowled over. Human-mom says Jasmine is like a linebacker. Camm is just trying to be Bossy Pants cuz she’s always already has a ball in her mouth. Only me and Youke understand the true rules of the ball game.

After we played ball for a while, Human-mom called us and took the balls away. No worries. That means it’s time for me to explore the woods. Human-mom doesn’t put the stupid-um leash on me at this place and I can pretty much pee on anything I want, sniff around and try to find interesting critters. I do humor her though and keep an eye on them all. I don’t want to find out they were doing something fun without me.

Had a super fun time, running around, sniffing stuff, asking Human-mom to play ball some more, but she kept telling us we were on a break. I was just really getting my groove on when I caught a scent of something pretty fine. I went off the trail we were on and went deeper into the woods.

Then it happened. A woodland critter and a pretty big one that can run really fast went by me. I started screaming when I found it and went running through the woods after it.

Jasmine and Youke tried to follow for a while, but Youke always drops back pretty fast. He’s scared he’s gonna lose Human-mom. Jasmine just isn’t as fast as me, so she can’t keep up. Plus she says you just can’t catch those critters. Jasmine thinks she is some kind of genius. Whatever. I’m always gonna try. Camm doesn’t even try. She’s a suck up and stays beside Human-mom.

I don’t know how long I chased after that thing. For a while, but finally I just couldn’t find it and figured Human-mom might be worried about me like she usually is. Nope. Human-mom and brother and sisters were just walking along and welcomed me back like it was no big thing.

I was super hot and sweaty and could barely get enough air to breath. So although I trotted at first, soon I was just walking beside Human-mom. She touched me on my head and said she thought that was kinda weird. Hey Human-mom, you try running through the woods really fast after a woodland critter with your slow two legs and get back to me, okay??!!

I was starting to feel strange and Human-mom turned back to me, cuz I was then walking really slow behind her. I told her I had to stop for a moment. She came back to me and laid her hands on my cheek, but by then I was feeling all trembly and had to sit down. Human-mom looked kinda worried and asked me if I was okay. I couldn’t even answer cuz I was panting so hard. Human-mom took that opportunity to look at my teeth and commented about how clean they were. Whatever. I vaguely remember something about how much my mouth hurt after I woke up at the sexy vet ladies’ office a while ago. Anyway, I couldn’t believe Human-mom wanted to look at my teeth and take advantage like that when I just needed to rest for a while.

I looked at Human-mom and told her I couldn’t even sit anymore cuz I had to lay down. Human-mom got this super worried look on her face and started looking really closely into my eyes and then poking around my gums. Then she said something about how Old Grumpy Sylvie That Used To Live With Us But Then Died A Long Time Ago But I Didn’t Care Cuz I Never Liked Her Anyway never even stopped like that after she hiked up Mount Si in August. I wanted to tell Human-mom to stop using so many words and that I never liked Sylvie anyway and I’ve never hiked Mount Si, but by then she was just sitting beside me and telling me I was gonna be okay. Stupid-um bouncy Camm kept coming up to Human-mom and asking her why we were stopped. Then Jasmine and Youke started asking too. Sorta embarrassing, but I just couldn’t get my body to work. Human-mom was being nice though and just kept telling me to take my time and rest.

Human-mom told me she’d had a bad headache all day and understood not doing much of anything. I guess that explains why she was on the couch, but really, comparing my complete exhaustion and inability to move my body with her little headache??

I told her it was really her fault that this happened. If I had been allowed to run around like I wanted to for the last umpteen days – Human-mom calls it a month – I wouldn’t be all winded and unable to move.

Finally Human-mom asked me for the like the third time if I could get up and walk or if she had to carry me. It was a struggle, but I didn’t need Camm and Youke seeing Human-mom carry me like I’m a baby-pup. Human-mom took me over by some soft cool tall grass, which was nicer than the dirt and gravel. Inconsiderate Camm and Youke insisted it was time to play ball. I perked my head up but Human-mom told me to just keep laying down. Once again, she must’ve read my mind cuz she brought a ball over to me and I held it between my paws while I rested. She let my twit sister and brother have balls too, but told them they had to also lay down and rest. Twit sister Camm went and got Youke’s ball from him and started counting how many balls she had. She kept looking at my ball too, but I put my chin on top of it to protect it from her.

After I while I felt a lot better and even told Human-mom that I could play a little ball again. I guess she didn’t really believe me very much cuz she only threw it short baby distances. I was sorta humiliated, but didn’t tell her that was actually okay. But I saw her smiling. I really just wanted to lay down a lot in the tall grass. Was really nice and relaxing.

Human-mom said it was time to go and my breathing was all normal again and my body was working like it should. I totally could’ve stayed longer, but I was sorta glad she said it was time to go.

Now I’m pretty tired. Human-mom said more adventures tomorrow, but that maybe I’d be on my stupid-um leash cuz we need to build up my endurance level for adventures. I think Human-mom should concentrate on her own endurance level for adventures.