Oh the Things I Would Do

I did NOT get another new vehicle. But the dogs thought I did.

There was much excitement and cavorting about when JaYoBaCa saw a Chevy Malibu in their driveway Tuesday morning. Camm, especially, was beside herself with excitement and curiosity. And in a telling sign that I’ve driven an SUV for a very long time, all four went to the back of the sedan and looked at me to let them in. That’d be the trunk – or boot for those of you in foreign places. Somehow, I don’t think cramming four dogs into the dark confines of a sedan’s cargo area would be particularly amusing to them once they actually experienced it.

I laughed when I saw their ridiculously excited and eager faces. And I vowed right then and there that if I win the Powerball lottery I will purchase an assortment of vehicles. For them. My dogs.

I like motorized transportation, but I don’t aspire to have a collection like Jay Leno. I just want a few extra to tease my dogs with. I think it would be great to see their faces every time I brought a new vehicle into the driveway.

Of course, that also begs the question of the driveway itself. I’d have to purchase a larger estate in order to house my many more vehicles, all of which would probably be large, since it’s not kosher to drive around with four dogs in a sporty little convertible.

Not that I really want a sporty little convertible. Driving this Malibu reminds me that I’ve driven a SUV for over 15 years. I like being just a little bit higher.

Make what you will of that last sentence.

Seriously though. I like the visibility I get with being in a vehicle further off the ground. Not to mention that I don’t feel quite as vulnerable as when driving a sedan. I see those tiny little Smart cars and cringe. You couldn’t pay me to drive one. Okay, maybe if you bequeathed me your winnings from the Powerball lottery.

Driving this Malibu also made me think of my mother today. She used to complain about sedans made post-1990s as most have curved windshields. It’s an engineering design thing. Aerodynamic and all. She, like me, drove a Jeep for a long time. You cannot get a windshield much flatter than on a Jeep. Then, she moved to a larger SUV, but also with a pretty flat windshield, and one made prior to the more modern and rounded designs in the 2000s. My mother would complain when I came to visit and took her out and about in whatever rental I had at the time that looking out the windshield ahead made her dizzy and feel sick.

At the time, I put it down to another rather eccentric oddity from my mother. But today, as I drove this Malibu on a fast and curvy road back to my house, I finally understood what she was talking about. One more step in my progression toward becoming my mother.

Chalk that one up as yet another crazy thing my mother was actually right about.

So back to my estate. Obviously if I win the Powerball I’ll have to purchase an estate. But not the kind with a McMansion. That would only mean more rooms to vacuum and I think by now I’ve made it pretty clear how I feel about vacuuming. Of course I could hire staff to clean and probably will, but even with millions to my name, I’d still opt for more land over more house.

This land would be for the dogs. I’d love for my dogs to have their own private estate to play in, complete with lots of woods to run in, trails to wander and critters to gaze upon. It would have to be fully fenced because of Brady’s propensity for lengthy walkabouts. The fencing alone will use up a good chunk of my winnings.

Maybe I’d even build an agility arena and invite friends to come play, train and compete. But it’d have to be in a corner of the estate, because some days I don’t feel like talking to anyone.

Naturally, I’ll also have to purchase a private plane. Or I guess I could just have one on call. Despite the vastness of my anticipated estate, I’d still like to go on the occasional vacation somewhere. Preferably to my vacation estates in the mountains and on the ocean. The mountain retreat would also have a large private lake. My dogs like to swim.

Oh, I guess you thought I’d say I’d take a European vacation. Not likely, unless it’s to a property I own in Scotland. But let’s face it, if I’m gonna dabble with sheep, I’d prefer New Zealand.

Hmm… that may mean a couple more dogs now that I think about it.

As you can see, I’ve put a lot of thought in this.

However, step one is, buy a lottery ticket on Wednesday.

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